I think by now you know how passionate I am about you being in charge of YOU. The fact is, other people affect us, and you affect others. You walk into a room of 100 people and get 100 different perceptions of who they think you are (without much information). 

Since we are all wired for connection and belonging we naturally want people to like us. We also know, not everyone will. Just like you will connect with some, but not others. 

Whether you’re in an intimate relationship or not, this applies to all humans. We either get better where we’re at or we’re getting ready to be ready! Years ago while I was studying, I thought a good title of a book could be, “It begins with me, then you, and then the relationship.” Funny this title has never left me. We come together with our own individual beliefs and values. Our past and upbringing is what creates these combined with previous life experiences and hence we have a story. We are all unique and imperfect and yet we come together and believe things will just work out. We will find ‘the one’ who will see us and love us and we’ll be ok and accepted, once and for all. Haha. Isn’t that humorous?

I hope you’ve never felt like I think you need to change. My purpose here is to provide you with some ideas that help me stay centered and aligned. I do my best to be my own best friend, learn, apply and it works. I am absolutely living my best life and I want that for you as well.

So often we look at what is and if we don’t like ‘what is’ we can feel disempowered. But you are not. You can have what you want. The roadblocks can trip you up though, which is why it’s important to have a vision of where you want to be. Take the big picture and break it up into tiny achievable steps.This is what empowerment means. You are the captain of your ship. You are where you are, and that’s just fine. You have to be somewhere right? There’s no benefit in blaming anyone or figuring out why. Begin again, right where you are.

First of all, you were taught to judge. To compare, to compete, to look/act a certain way and to be aware of how others are doing. This is your societal teaching, so you can take yourself off the hook. Wasn’t your fault.

But - living at your full potential means knowing we weren’t taught all of the skills necessary to live with peace, love, joy, comfort, acceptance and way less stress! So it’s up to you to change this bad habit - if you want to.

I would bet at this stage in your journey, you know what you’re good at and not so good at! This message is not about changing you. It’s about accepting you, right now, as you are. 

I know you love yourself and I also know you are your own worst critic. If we believe what we’ve been told, by society or well meaning people, instead of the loving voice inside of us, life can be tough.

Be accountable for where you are at. Without trying to figure out why you are here, or putting blame on you or anyone else, just sit with where you are at. 

I write to you today because I have been surrounded by grace over the past week as I’ve been alone to mourn the loss of my amazing Dad. I’ve been following my guidance, for what my heart needs and I’m so grateful that I have. What I mean by grace, is a feeling of comfort, security and calm. An influence of spirit unexplained and not outside of myself.

I’m so shocked, I had to share this with you! After all the work I’ve done on myself and the joy and comfort that I mostly feel - I can still feel like a kid at times when it comes to my parents! As a kid I mean, I can revert back to who I was before I learned all the tools that healed me from the hurt I experienced as a child. And hey, they’ve been great parents, yet I can still be hurt. Have you ever felt this way ??

When someone has hurt you, or they do something that really bugs you, do you set a boundary, or do you just accept them? Here’s my take:

A boundary is a rule or guideline for how someone is to behave towards you and a response by you when that rule isn’t adhered to.

Acceptance is allowing another to show up just as they are. There may be things you don’t love about them but you accept them without trying to change them. Their good is so good you’re able to overlook their flaws. SIDE NOTE: (where you decide to focus is what you’ll notice the most - so be kind and keep your attention on what you love about your peeps). 😊