Why do we judge others?

First of all, you were taught to judge. To compare, to compete, to look/act a certain way and to be aware of how others are doing. This is your societal teaching, so you can take yourself off the hook. Wasn’t your fault.

But - living at your full potential means knowing you weren’t taught all of the skills necessary to live with peace, love, joy, comfort, acceptance and way less stress! So it’s up to you to change this bad habit - if you want to.

It seems judging would make you feel better, because if ‘you’re up’ over someone else, you feel better. But do you really?

We judge because we are hard on ourselves and scared to look within. Scared of what we’ll find and won’t know what to do once we find the unaccepted (shadow) parts of ourselves.

My mentor says, when you judge, it’s to suggest that you have your act together and they don’t. It’s like, I’m fine, you’re not. Ya, read that again. It’s so true right?!

The time of my life when I was a judger, I think came from my lack of self love and needing approval. I wanted credit, thought I was smarter because well, I read the books! Looking back I see now it was just a stage I was in. I wanted more for others but went about it in a self righteous way.

Once I truly accepted, loved and approved of myself, I noticed we’re all just on different paths and schedules, and that everyone is just trying to do their best with where they’re at. I really just decided to see people with more compassion, just like I was doing for myself.

How someone else does their life - well it’s just not for me to judge. Plus how does it really affect my life? I can assist, accept, love or leave. But I’ll forever do my best to not judge.

Since you have your own lessons to learn, how someone else is doing their journey just doesn’t have to affect yours. Be curious, but not judgey. I promise, the more you accept yourself, the less you’ll judge others. You know the saying, take that finger you’re pointing at someone and turn it right back to you!

I’ve also learned that often the ones who judge others are even harder on themselves. So, if that might be you, I understand. I’ve been there.

I can still be critical, for sure. Always a work in progress. This isn't a game of perfection, it's about being better tomorrow than I was today. I try my best to observe instead of judge. And if I do, when I'm in my quiet place, I look at it.

Use others and your reactions to them as an opportunity to learn more about you. It's never about the other person, as hard as it is to admit.

All I can say, is that as you learn to accept and approve of yourself just as you are today, work on the areas you need to work on and consciously choose to stop criticizing and judging others, you will feel more peaceful.

Another benefit - you'll be less judged by others (if you still care what other people think). Or... you won't even notice. 😘

Love always, and on your side.

Kristi 💙