Who's approval are you still seeking?
Hello hello ,
I’m so shocked, I had to share this with you! After all the work I’ve done on myself and the joy and comfort that I mostly feel - I can still feel like a kid at times when it comes to my parents!
As a kid I mean, I can revert back to who I was before I learned all the tools that healed me from the hurt I experienced as a child. And hey, they’ve been great parents, yet I can still be hurt. Have you ever felt this way ??
Was it a parent or guardian who was tough on you because they constantly pushed you to do better, which made you feel never quite good enough? Or did you live in a home where you didn’t talk about ‘feelings’ so now you have a hard time putting your feelings into words, which is affecting all your relationships?
Regardless, I think it’s safe to say that most of society has been hurt in their childhood for one reason or another.
I’m a big fan of understanding where you came from, but not blaming the well meaning teachers in your life who did the best they could, with the information and experience they had at the time.
Yet I just recently found myself saying out loud - holy crap, how could I not have full approval by now?? What is it that I have to do here??
The answer------NOTHING!
You’ll never get it.
This is the only question to ask yourself in this situation: Do YOU approve of you?
Are you doing your best?
Have you accepted yourself?
Are you living to your standard?
Boom! There’s some freedom right? I want to spare you chasing approval (from anyone) and to just relax and stop.
It won’t come from anyone else. You just won’t be ‘their idea’ of who you ‘should be.’ And if they try to get you to be, reply with, thanks but all I need now is your love and support.
You got this! It’s something I wish someone would have told me a long time ago (I’m sure I heard it before, but I really got it this time). Funny how it sinks in, only when you’re really ready.
(And if your answer is no to any of those questions above, you may tend to get defensive when someone is critical towards you). And that's totally OK, because now you know what to work on! We all have our stuff!
My personal example is way too long this time, sorry about that! Maybe this time you tell me your example either here or email me! kristi@everythingbeginswithin.com 👍
Lots of love,
Kristi 💪
xoxo
