Battle of the sexes or have we been misinformed?
Today’s inSight is about the dynamic between men and women - because of course - I’m getting ready to be in an amazing romantic partnership, and I’m just learning like crazy and just had to share this with you!
I even got more clarity on what I want. An intimate long term adventure. How delicious right? (Thanks to Mali and Joe!)
I'm going to paraphrase and simplify the lessons taught to me by many people, but mostly Alison Armstrong and John Gray. They are brilliant.
OK, so men actually want to provide for us girls, and want to make us happy. Now, we know that no one can actually make us happy - that’s an inside job. But they can make us happier. So when we aren’t happy they actually take it personally and feel like a bit of a failure.
What we women could do (I will never should you!), is to move more into our ‘feminine energy’ and allow them to provide for us, and then we need to appreciate them. They NEED appreciation. If this isn’t new information to you, let it be a good reminder.
Years ago, I remember researching ‘why men cheat,’ for a girlfriend of mine that got cheated on. She didn’t understand how it could have possibly happened to her and that’s what she wanted from me, to help her understand. It was very interesting, and appreciation was a bigger reason for cheating than sex. Good to know hey?
In today’s world, women are just so capable and responsible. And it's a wonderful thing. But leading with the masculine traits that make us accomplished in the boardroom, isn’t what makes us attractive to men.
I think both sexes are very confused today. Women rarely need men for what we used to need them for. Yet we expect all sorts of other things from them that franky they just aren’t that good at. We need to keep the purpose of male/female relationships in perspective.
Men are single focused, whereas women multi-task. So ya, when he’s watching the game, he’s NOT listening to you. I learned we are hard on men because we expect men to think and act like a woman. And then we compare ourselves to the ‘perfect’ woman, which will never make us feel good. Funny too, because men do not care about you being perfect. It’s not the size of your thighs, eyelash length or lack of wrinkles. Nice to know right? That doesn’t have anything to do with why they love you. We’ve been sold such bullshit.
It only takes one person to change a relationship dynamic. Good news right, you don’t necessarily need ‘couples’ therapy.
How to be more feminine? Well, we need to lose any type of behavior that emasculates men. I have a list in my journal I can send you. It’s one page long, and I have unfortunately done many of these things over the years. But when we know better, we do better right? No big deal. Whoops, sorry past contenders... haha.
Homework: So ya, stop emasculating men, appreciate them and let me know what happens!
Another fun way to be more feminine is to dance. Funny story. In the summer my adorable 22 year old niece and I would work out with weights, mats and a big mirror. Well she would end up dancing most of the time because she just loves it. We ended up making dance videos and she was showing me how to twerk and crazy stuff that maybe a 44 year old woman shouldn’t be doing. 🤭😱. It was so fun.
Wellllllll.... I just learned that what we were doing is such a great way to bring out your feminine, and I find myself getting right into it during my own workouts in my condo during lockdown! It’s been amazing for my inner goddess. I won’t start videoing it, but I sure love it!!! I dare you to dry this when no one is looking. 💃
Those were the big gems. There’s too much to share everything here of course. But reach out to me if you have a challenge in your relationship you want some help with. There is no problem that doesn’t have a solution.
Lovin love,
Kristi 💓
