How to recognize red flags in relationships 🚩
A friend of mine just ended a relationship with someone who is not stable. When we discussed how she got here, and what her lesson was, she became very clear that her guidance system was on full alert but she pushed it away many times.
Here are some ways your guidance may be telling you to pay attention:
When someone does or says something and then isn’t consistent, you feel it in your gut.
When their words and actions don’t jive, you feel this.
When you know they're a lot of what you want but really important qualities are missing, you know it. And you know people don’t change, unless they are aware, accountable and working on themselves.
Things just don’t add up. Sometimes it’s tricky and you can’t put a finger on it, but something just doesn’t feel right.
Action isn’t necessarily required at this point, but it’s important to be aware. I call this ‘putting it on the shelf.’ At some point if the shelf breaks you’ll know it and you'll know why.
Allow people to show up as they are, because you create your life, and you’ll decide who fits or who doesn’t. The important thing is to be conscious about how they make you feel.
My suggestion, if you are going through this, is to listen and acknowledge your gut feelings. Share them with a friend and honor your feelings by being honest. Sometimes only once we say it outloud does it become real. This is also the reason we may keep it in. We don’t want to face the truth because then we know we may have to make a decision and take the next step and that can be scary.
I would absolutely bring this to their attention with a conversation, if it feels right to do so - with much kindness, concern and curiosity. Maybe they aren’t even aware.
When you know who you are and what you value in others it’s easier to see when things don’t line up. And it’s not to judge them, it’s just to be aware that you are allowing the right people to show up or stay in your life.
We are all trying to do the best we can. With the skills we have. Some people just don’t fit together, and it’s okay.
All relationships are meant for love, growth, adventure, connection and joy. Seasons, reasons or lifetimes right?
Don’t be scared to let go of the wrong ones, and often appreciate the right ones.
That’s it for today my friend!
All my love,
Kristi 💝
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