Hey there friend,
Ok, I promise, happier topics coming soon! But I’ve had an emotional week and wasn’t really in the mood for happy happy. I hope you are happy though! I’m on my way up. ☺️
This inSight is inspired by David Kessler, a grief expert. This talk was with Matthew Hussey if you want to watch the full episode.
Fear doesn’t stop death. Fear stops life. Fear doesn’t stop the end of a relationship. Fear stops the relationship.
We have to grieve the (parent, lover, job) we got. And we have to grieve the _____ we didn’t get. (I would add, haven’t gotten yet). We will not lose hope my friends!!
All trauma has grief in it. All grief does not have trauma.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Pain is the love. Suffering is the wounds. Witness the pain, question the suffering.
Your grief is the worst kind. Don’t compare. It’s hard to let go of what’s familiar.
The wounded part of yourself says it was a waste. But we are here to love the wrong people. We are here to replicate the wounds so that we can heal them. What if you did it right? Accept your life here and now.
Old wounds get projected onto new grief. We’re constantly trying to heal them. Where do wounds come from? You’re either not enough or you’re too much. They play out in a million different ways.
Don’t let your mind run the show. It can turn on you. Kind is better than being positive.
Don’t deny any reality. Next time something goes wrong, accept that it might have been for you. Why? It feels better.
When we are sad and scared we want comfort. When we’re angry we want space. (I’ve learned that sad and angry shouldn’t hang out in the same room).
How did you think your life should have been? We buy into illusions. That might be the problem. Reality can be hard, but freedom lives in reality. We all have illusions. Life sometimes doesn’t turn out the way it was ‘supposed to.’ We had a dream, it didn’t come true and now real life can start. The fairytale ends. Thank goodness. Grieve it, reality can be brutal. But there is still a life to come out of your house for.
I have to say, his words made so much sense to me. In an age where we can become way too self absorbed, manifesting this and that and creating our perfect lives because our struggles are so small in comparison to the generations behind us, this felt like a good solid perspective. It’s great to dream, but being grounded in reality has comfort, stability and hope.
K 💛
