Ever had a break-up?

There are many ‘break ups’ in life. Here are the popular ones: friendships, romantic relationships, jobs, death. 

But any change from what’s normal, that leads to having a different normal, is a break up. The emotional volume that’s created depends on the attachment. The more attached, the more emotion, the more pain. 

In all change though, we must create the space to grieve. And we need to grieve for all change. Or else we can get stuck and don’t move forward, or we take our pain into the next new normal. 

Here’s what I’ve done with break ups (but only once the emotional part is healed and honored). Maybe it can help you or someone you know going through a break up.

The reason we need to do this work is so that we can gain more clarity about ourselves and learn from the experience. No need to recreate the same lesson. 

• What did you love about your person? 

• What lessons did you take away from the experience? 

• What did you learn about what you’d prefer?

• What was your part of the demise? Take your 5%. Own it. 

Healing correctly takes skill. The skills are gratitude, clarity, acceptance, awareness, accountability, patience, self love, forgiveness. 

Be kind to yourself. Process your emotion by feeling it. Cry. (I suggest doing this alone first. Get the majority out). 

Then, get support from the right people, cry, talk, learn, cry, reflect, meditate, breathe, cry. Day by day, your new normal becomes more normal and the clouds begin to lift.

Forgiveness then becomes easier once you understand it wasn’t a waste, you learned a lot, loved a lot and are better for it. Then you forgive yourself - for staying too long, for not speaking up, for not being kind - Fill in the blank.

Then, forgive them. This may take some time, but it’s an important step. This is why I like to reflect on the questions above so I can see the situation from a different perspective other than how much it hurts. But it’s the last step. And is what sets you free to look ahead again, making room for the space left open. 

Sometimes you choose to end things and sometimes it isn’t up to you. Both sides hurt. I’ve been on both. And I always find my way to love again.

Here’s a session I did with the MASS crew on this topic and thought I’d share it with you also. 

KRISTI AND THE GUYS DISCUSS THEIR LAST BREAKUPS AND WHAT THEY LEARNED!

All my love,

Kristi Hiller 💕

Life Coach & Mentor