Why isn't everyone dating?

Hello fabulous friend!

I think everyone could be dating. Why isn’t everyone dating? You tell me why not? I think it’s super fun. So you're either dating your partner, or you’re dating potential suitors.

I believe life is better with a special someone. It takes time to see if they are special of course. It also takes openness, generosity, courage, creativity and effort.

It can make you feel alive, excited, curious, desired, intrigued. And it can also feel scary. (Physiologically scared can also feel like excitement).

I don’t understand why someone would give up on wanting to share their life with someone. I do understand some love has turned bad. But we’ve all been hurt by love at some point. What’s the difference between those that get back up and do it again and those who don’t?

It seems we're all wired for connection, but for some reason some people just don’t want to put in the effort. This piques my curiosity!

I’ve heard a lot of excuses, that’s for sure. My request is that you dig a little deeper into the excuse.

Example: My girlfriend says she has kids and no babysitter. So, I suggested, why not first figure out how to get a babysitter a couple times a month? So no dating until you remove that barrier and create the space. I also offered to look after her kiddos once/month to help her out. There’s one excuse removed. If she comes up with more, we’ll get to the real truth. Haha.

What about the most popular excuse - there are no good people online or in my town. That is just an excuse my friend. But if you believe it, it will be so.

Let’s say you do have someone special. Are you still dating each other? Are you creating quality time consistently to keep your connection alive? Sure, guys want to have ‘sexy time’, but do their ladies feel seen and cared for? If I was to speak for women I’d say make her feel special and she’ll want sexy time too. We are all animals after all.

People in relationships also come up with many excuses for not dating their partner often. Again, I think these are excuses that might be covering up some real issues.

Whether you’re dating your partner or dating to have one, here are some things you might want to contemplate:

• How’s the eye contact?

• Is there physical touch?

• Curiosity?

• Reliability?

• Openness?

• How do I feel while in their presence?

• Is there anticipation?

• Chemistry?

• Respect?

• Integrity?

• Generosity? (not just financial)

• Effort?

I’m really feeling like there is an answer underneath every excuse. Try me. I’m here for you and will help as best as I can to uncover what’s really going on here.

And I’d bet that if you take a minute to look at your excuses, you’ll be able to see it too. You can change it once you’ve acknowledged it.

Oh and then you'll need to actually plan the date. There's your homework!

And for all of you that are dating well - kudos to you! I don't have to tell you the benefits you're experiencing. 😉

All my love
K 💛