Hey there friend!
What a question hey? And yes, I was asked this! Haha.
Men and women are different. The way we think, feel, express and what motivates us. Also, relationship dynamics have changed a lot over the years. So, today’s question:
What value do you bring to a relationship?
Balance matters. You know when it’s out of balance. And you have control over this.
Where one might have financial abundance, the other might be abundant in their appreciation. This is all about giving/receiving. (Not tit for tat btw).
Men are natural givers. Women are to receive, and to do so gracefully. If a man is taking more than they are giving, the woman is probably giving too much. This isn’t good long term, because it’s out of nature's (natural) flow.
When our needs aren’t met, it’s so easy to complain and criticize. When someone feels criticized, they either defend or shut down. The weapons come out, the battle is on. There is no winner here. As Terry Real points out, the loser will make the winner pay.
Who’s good at what? Everyone comes with different skill sets. We need to help each other. Discuss it. Let people take on roles that they enjoy and are good at.
It’s important to feel like you are both getting something out of the relationship. Are you better off with this person? Are they better off with you? When you both bring good stuff to the table, and those things jive nicely, you can create a great time (team)!
If one is often bringing more than the other, it’ll feel off. This can look like resentment. Then you focus on it and you may stop seeing so clearly the other good things that are present.
I’ve made the mistake of thinking, what am I getting out of this? It’s not a bad question at times, in fact it’s an important one - BUT, it has to be in conjunction with, what am I giving to this?
I gave this some thought. And glad I did. Here’s some examples for you to begin thinking about what you bring to the table.
I’m loyal, I'm a happy person (he helps me be happIER), my home and vehicle are clean and tidy, I exercise and take care of my body, I have a wonderful family and we all get along, I handle my problems and don’t have drama in my life, I have great friends, I love what I do, I love s-e-x, I can cook (even though I don’t love it), I pay my own bills, have no debt, not bad lookin.
Ok, you get the point. I could go on! Now, if someone doesn’t value what I bring to the table and vice versa it probably wouldn’t work out longterm. And that’s ok. We have to value each other.
So know your value. Give this some thought. Or not! 😜
All my love,
K 💛
