Hey there!
So, from last week. What was the answer? It’s LOVE. It’s time for me to replace my ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude, with, how may I serve? Or my other attitude which was, you should be the way I need you to be because that’s how it’s always been for me. That’s taking, not giving. That’s staying the same, not evolving.
So what did I do to get to my answer? I had to feel the guilt for being mean. (Guilt is, I did something bad, shame is I am bad). I didn’t focus on the other person’s guilt. I cried a bit over 2 days as my emotions came out. Felt them and released them. I kept asking what I needed to learn about this. I was willing to see things differently. I held my heart and surrendered the situation. I remind myself this was happening for me, not to me, and that I would be better for it. I retreated a bit, meditated a ton, studied, walked, worked out, helped my clients (and they actually helped me too)! One thing I know for sure, is when my heart is hurting, life is not as enjoyable. Putting it off and ignoring it was not an option!
Here’s what I realized. The purpose of my life is to experience deep love. I have so much love to give. And it’s time for me to stop pretending I’m OK with less than that. It’s what I have to give, and I need it to be received. But I wasn’t acting in love. I was acting in fear. I was withholding my love.
And while loving might be hard, not loving is even harder.
We all need and desire to belong, to be seen and to be accepted for all of our parts. So why wouldn’t I give that to another? Love does this. And when we live from that place, ‘they say’ it will come back to us. Acting without love won’t get us the love we all long for.
Here’s the part that has to do with the commitment I had made to myself. For me to experience deep love, I need someone who wants the same thing. To be open and available to this requires a vulnerability we’re not always used to and it can be uncomfortable. It requires a very safe container and a vision both people must want.
Most of us weren’t raised this way. Pure acceptance and acknowledgement and unconditional love. When you look around, love is pretty conditional. No wonder it can be scary. Yet, we are bombarded with love songs, movies, books and poems that say it exists. “All you need is love.” “Love is all there is.” “Love is the way.”
As a woman - to be soft, sweet, tender, accepting, respectful, surrendered. This woman is lovely, and gets what she wants naturally, easily. This is who I truly am. As a man - to be open hearted, strong, safe, present, cherishing, penetrative. What a delicious duo this is.
The post-it on my fridge now says, what would love do? It’s crazy we live in a world where we have to remind ourselves of this right???
In the ups and downs of life and love, I want us all to experience deep love.
All my love to you,
K 💛
Leave a comment and let me know if you can relate! I love hearing from you!
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. –Rumi
Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment—or unlearning—of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love…is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. –Marianne Williamson
We can remain in a state of love when we recognize that everyone is doing the best they can to get their needs met. –Eckhart Tolle
