Hello amazing friend!
In a recent session with a client, what developed was a beautiful conversation about the roles men play and the constant pressure they are invisibly under.
Men protect, provide, procreate. This naturally resides as instinct and what they are taught, all the while to do it without showing much emotion. Don’t be a girl, suck it up, be a man, men don’t cry etc. There’s got to be a cost to this.
Most (if not all) men I’ve known, truly have a desire to provide. This is what makes them feel successful and is what they’ve told me is the definition of what being a man means.
Along with a need to be driven through accomplishment, we must ask why there's a direct line to this being tied to a man’s worth? Why is work and ambition so important to them?
From an early age boys are told to get to work. From playgrounds, to locker rooms, to higher education and then career, they are constantly comparing, competing and being judged by others.
At middle age, the men I know are working to provide for their loved ones. No man has ever told me they work to ‘buy stuff.’ It’s ok to like stuff. Not the point here.
It always came down to providing a better life to those they love. This is admirable and I feel our men are often under appreciated for this.
As much as I haven’t needed a man to ‘look after me’ financially, I’ve always felt safer in the world knowing a man (starting with my dad) would have my back. I wonder if a man has ever felt this kind of safety? I just had a guy at a party pull me aside and say hey, you know we love you. If you ever need anything just know that we’re always here for you. How sweet is that?
I’m sure many men have wondered, if I didn’t provide, would they still love me? If I lost everything, would they even stick around?
OK, so maybe they aren’t so good at emotions. They’ve been very busy hustling and building and creating business. For women, relationships are our jam! We’ve been emoting for years with our girls.
So today, I’d just like to recognize the pressure men are constantly under and they are not telling us what it feels like.
Thank you men, for slaying the dragons and working so damn hard to please us. I see you, and appreciate you.
All my love,
K 💛
