How conflict creates crossroads

Hello hello darling!

Why does our shit come up in relationships? And if it’s a good relationship, should that even happen? Oh if it were only that easy.

This inSight is a combined reflection of research and my own experiences. The interesting observation for me is that most relationships have brought out the best in me, and a few, quite the opposite. 🤔

The typical stages from attraction to commitment to love is necessary. All to often, when we experience joy, desire and love we think wow, love does exist and it’s wonderful. So we continue sharing our hearts, our bed and our life with another. And when we experience hurt, disappointment, rejection or resentment we think sheesh, why did I attract that person? This can’t possibly be ‘the one’ for me. Ha ‘the one’ - let’s debunk that right now.

This is the phase of the crossroad. The opportunity to dive deeper into yourself to learn and grow. Or replace them with someone new perhaps?

Our desire for love will never cease, which is the tough part about love today. We only wish we didn’t want each other! Here’s how I see it. Our choices will create cause and effect. You have many choices. Here are 3:

1. Close your heart, shut down, blame the other, thank you, next.

2. Stay in a mediocre and dissatisfying partnership.

3. Get curious to why this person (experience) is in your life and expand your personal awareness and opportunity for growth.

The question isn’t, ‘is this person for me?’ The real question is, ‘is this person activating places in me where I need to do some healing?’

How do you know? CONFLICT.

If there’s a lack of conflict I’d suggest there could be a lack of honesty and authenticity.

Once we’re safe in the arms of love, our shadows, past hurts, insecurities and old wounds WILL come up. This isn’t all about childhood either. It’s your whole plethora of experiences. It can be a confusing time. If we love each other, why is it so hard, you may have wondered?

If you’re curious, I’ll delve into each of these options over the next 3 inSights. For now, go into your heart and sit with these options and feel what comes up. Lean on your intuition, not your logic (for now).

No matter where you’ve been or where you are, remember, you take yourself with you wherever you go.

All my love (and support),
K 💛