Don't make assumptions

Hello cool person!

I had to break up this series for a shout out to the wonderful Dads out there, but back to your learning and post it notes!

The book is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Agreement ONE: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Agreement TWO: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Agreement THREE: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Why do this? To prevent suffering/problems.

I see this happen all the time! You make up what you ‘think’ someone else is thinking or why they do what they do. And you believe it!

The way to get through this is to ask questions! How could you possibly know what is going on for someone else? I promise - most times it has nothing to do with you. It’s to do with their pain. Or life experience.

“When we don’t understand something we make an assumption about the meaning.” We get into a lot of problems here.

Have you ever thought someone should have acted a certain way because, well, they know you? You assume you don’t have to ask for what you want because they should ‘just know?’  We’ve ALL done this a time or two. This causes conflict, and can be prevented. It goes nicely with how we create expectations. And often this isn’t a conversation. Life becomes so much easier when expectations are clear and are communicated. Courage is the skill required here.

We often assume everyone sees the world as we do. But this is not true. Plus, we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are. And since we are all unique, we all see things differently. I know you know this. (Just reminding you).

I loved this part. “Real love is accepting others the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them.”

So, what to do? If you don’t understand - ASK. And keep doing this until you do. Do not assume you know.

And, understanding this is not enough. What will actually help you is taking action. Over and over again until it becomes natural.

Here’s the video that goes with this. It’s not public yet, but this link will get you access!
https://youtu.be/6FqdV1Y6cTQ

You can do this, because you do have courage. I believe in you!

All my love,
Kristi 💛