Hello there,
I am writing to you from beautiful Los Angeles. (Redondo Beach to be exact). My niece experienced a heart break and wanted to hang with her auntie. She was going to fly into Calgary to visit, but I told her broken hearts heal better in LA. 😜 My brother lives here and it’s been amazing. Never feel bad to pay for an experience. It’s worth every cent. We’ve had a blast and her heart is healing wonderfully. The tears are gone. 🥳
K so, the real reason for this inSight - in order to have an opinion about this word, we have to agree (or not) on the definition of it. My niece and I just had a fun conversation about it. Here’s mine:
C O M P R O M I S E: doing something you don’t want to do.
And here’s the point. Get the ‘thing’ you want but negotiate how you will get it, once the other person gets what they want also. Otherwise you end up giving up your needs and resentment will set in. Probably not right away, but over time.
It’s important to understand that some things are not compromise worthy. Sometimes you need to find a totally different option. My niece will not compromise her safety, to live in a new apartment in the city if she doesn’t feel safe. Either her roommate and her part and find new roommates or they find a place to live that suits them both. No compromise required.
Compromise has a lot to do with your values. I personally don’t like to compromise and I will do my best to figure out a win-win for both parties. As relational therapist Terry Real says, there is no such thing as win-lose. The loser will always make the winner pay.
What you might find is that people who have to get their way, will probably find themselves surrounded by easy going people who aren’t so set in their ways. All good. You create your tribe and so do they.
What’s your definition of the word? Oftentimes we have to define the word prior to having a conversation because we often interpret things differently.
Have this conversation with someone close to you, get curious and see what they think. It’s not about being right, it’s just about getting to know someone better and learning new perspectives. Keep it light and have fun!
All my love, from sunny LA ☀️
K 💛
