The ego mind in romantic relationships

Hello there,

SPECIAL NOTE: This may not be for you at this time in your journey, and that's OK. But I believe this is important info and wanted to share it with you.

This excerpt is from a 2+ hour talk by Marianne Williamson. She is by far one of my favorite teachers over the last 20 years. She teaches principles on A Course in Miracles.

I hope this information resonates with you as much as it did me. It’s long and it’s deep, but if you are ready, you will hear it.

The intention of the ego mind is to destroy you. The ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst.

The ego keeps you separate. Incomplete.

It doesn’t give you truth. It cuts us off from the oneness in which we are. It creates a core belief of I’m not enough as I am, so we look outside of ourselves to find the missing piece (you complete me). Well that’s a lot of pressure!

This philosophy explains the purpose of life is to be the vessels of love and enlightenment to exponentially increase the maximum soul growth opportunity. (This explains why we meet certain people, whether it’s your child, friend or a romantic partner. These are forms of assignments).

We won’t grow being around people who behave the way we want them to all of the time. All the places you have blocks and shadows and resistance to love, you will be triggered in relationship to them.

Romantic relationships (the enlightened experiences) are when you get lifted to the mountaintop. You see how beautiful feels. A heavenly vision. It’s truth - until illusion sets in.

We need a personality structure to hold that much light and enlightenment.

Love brings up everything unlike itself. If we don’t hold it there, we both have work to do. We’ll have resistance to love which is triggered and it’ll come up to be released.

Ego says this is a horrible relationship. That person can’t act that way without me losing my serenity or denial of love.

Ego points to, if only he wasn’t so judgemental, if only she wasn’t so needy, if only he wasn’t so avoidant. And on and on.

To transition from a ‘special’ relationship to a holy relationship - both of your worst aspects WILL come up.

We need to atone for our own mistakes.

We need skills: nonviolent communication, no judgement, no blame, willingness and the ability to forgive, compassion.
(This isn’t only for romantic relationships, but these ones are the toughest).

We need a sacred container, prayer and commitment.

It feels good now, but crazy will come up. It is self endangerment if both people don’t get the concept. To move forward without this understanding is self sabotage and undervaluing of yourself. They move away and it hurts you.

Don’t allow yourself to get attached in a context where there was no agreement with the other person that he/she even wanted you to get attached.

This is the holyiziation process. The holy instant is, I only see you as you are. No past, I just wish to bless you and be blessed by you. This is easy when you first meet!

The ego comes with expectations on how you behave. Reasons for me to judge you and blame you will occur. Vice versa. Reasons to find you not good enough will occur. It has to happen. This is the way we grow and evolve. Are we committed to the best of our ability to stay firm?

The ego says it's about the other. Spirit knows it’s about me.

Ego = Guilty

Spirit = Innocent

The commitment is that it’s a spiritual practice. This is difficult.

Imagine the real world is heaven, peace of mind and happiness.

Ego says everything is about you.

You have a quicker opportunity to become the person you’re supposed to be. But are you giving all you have? We are used to a highly individualized curriculum. (Thankfully this is slowly changing towards more cooperation/collaboration. But we have a long way to go).

The ego becomes intense at this time. Practice love and forgiveness.

You can stay together and not do the work, but you will numb. Intimacy goes away here. You must have faith.

When do we stop needing to be adored, supported, accepted and respected? Kids today get it. They don’t even have to pay the bills. Adults need this love more than ever. But it seems we don’t know how. Sexy is safe.

Everyone subconsciously knows everything. Bless them with love. They will feel it.

Ego uses sex as a substitute for communication. Spirit uses sex as a deepening of communication.

If you believe what’s real is what’s going on, this puts a burden on the body and that creates sickness (stress). The body heals when we aren’t looking at it.

The holy spirit enters in at the level of your belief system.

Enlightenment begins as abstract (theory) and makes the distance from your head to your heart (prayer/meditation).

There is one truth, many paths.

🤯

All my love,

Kristi Hiller 💕
Life Coach & Mentor