Is love hard?

I don’t like the word hard. It implies struggle. I like the word interesting. It involves curiosity. And ohhhhhhh love is very interesting!!

Love takes time. It takes time to understand our own issues within love. Never mind the other person's issues. It’s what we all want, but it can be uncomfortable for sure. 

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I love it. “I may not understand you but I’ll always come back.”

When I start falling for someone, I don’t want anyone else to have them. So I get scared. I know how great he is for me, so surely others will see what I see and want what I want. And will he continue to choose me?

This is probably what’s under every insecurity we all have. But this is what happens to me. I won’t speak for you. And keep in mind, self love and self worth were my biggest transformations so far in this life, so I’m well versed. If you’ve ever felt scared to love, maybe this will help.

If you’ve ever felt needy or hungry for love, or thinking about giving up on love, you might be needing some reassurance. We’ve been trained to think we get that from someone else, but I promise you, true reassurance has to come from within you. Here’s some of the things I’ve learned to tell myself when I get insecure. 

I am lovable, with an amazing heart. I am good and kind and want everyone to feel the love I’m experiencing. My ‘shadow’ may show up and tell me that without this person, I’ll never feel this way again. 

But this is a silly story - because my history proves otherwise. There is always another love. And greater than before because I gain clarity through each attempt of what is truly important to me. 

I trust myself, knowing what I desire and knowing I get what I want. (Remember, what you want you get, if you believe it). This, or something better dear Lord. 🙏

When you allow your heart it’s undeniable desire, nothing will hold it back. Deep love is so amazing and scary at times. I need someone willing to dive in with me. To put down the armor and slowly expose our wounded hearts so we both can heal.

What we want isn’t hard. But to articulate it and own it and be brave enough to ask for it - that’s hard! Even harder if someone rejects it. But we must love ourselves through that process. That’s where trust is. In yourself no matter how things turn out. You’ll always end up better than you were. 

If someone doesn’t choose you, let them go with love. Try saying this to yourself:

I’m better now actually, because you must not be my person for my journey at this time. You also have your lessons to learn. I must not be what you need either. So, let’s honor each other - where we’re at. And know that I’ll never forget the glimpse of what it may feel like to truly love and be loved. And in loving all parts of myself, is the part in me that can let you go. For the love in me, hopes you find the love in you.

Deep thoughts, by Kristi Hiller 😳

All my love,

Kristi