Hello there!
Sharing creates connection.
Walls and closing off prevent connection.
PONDER THIS: Who do you feel the closest to?
Why do you think that is?
I’d submit to you, it’s the people you’ve shared the most with or gone through the most with, that you feel the closest to.
Some people are uncomfortable with knowing too much and sharing too much. This is the, “TMI” (too much information) comment. Of course that's been said to me a ton in my day. Haha. But I also feel very connected to a whole lot of people, and I know that brings me joy. So, not a bad thing I'd say!
If you want closer connections though, I suggest you share things that are closer to your heart. Show your hand a little. You can stay on the surface, but you won’t feel very connected. You can know a lot of people, but true closeness and belonging comes from opening yourself up. It can feel uncomfortable at first, just like anything new you’ve tried. But the rewards are worth it. It’s ok to share what’s going on inside. You might just be surprised at what comes back to you!
Esther Perel said something like - “We have so many ‘friends’ and yet no one to call to feed your cat or pick up your prescription when you’re sick.”
And even if you do have someone that would, do you even ask for help?
Communities are built. I love when I can count on a friend for a ride to the airport, and make the time to do the same for them. There was a time I hailed the cab and didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. But I’d way rather chat (connect) with a friend, than be in a stinky old Uber or taxi. Saving each other the $60 fee is also a plus!
And as the saying goes, be the change you want to see. If you want closer connections, it begins with you. Experiment with this. Divulge something to someone that might feel a bit uncomfortable. I’ll bet you they open right back up to you with an example from their own life. And voila! Connection made. Hearts deepen. You both feel less alone. It’s really a beautiful thing.
Let your walls down. There is nothing wrong with you. Allow someone else to realize that they aren’t alone either.
I learned the power of this with one of my clients. I teared up sharing with him the hurt I felt inside about one of my relationships. He kept thanking me for being so vulnerable with him and that it allowed him to feel more comfortable with tearing up in my presence. It was a beautiful sharing moment. We were both real. There is no shame in sharing your inner world with someone. It’s actually a gift.
Have an enjoyable day!
All my love,
K 💛
