Hello there!
There are lovers and there are friends. But after say 30, I would guess that most of your friends tend to be of the same sex. I’m asking you the universal and timeless question - can a guy and girl just be friends?
So - if the answer is no, then you’re telling me a girl gets just one guy? (and vice versa of course). Well no wonder people expect so much of their ‘one’ partner!
And how great if you’ve found the ‘one’ person who has all the greatest traits from every ex you’ve ever had! (I call this the fairytale, and yes I believe in it somewhat).
Is chemistry the only reason men and women are together? And is chemistry only defined by being sexual?
We so often neglect to see the flaws in someone when the sex is the best you’ve ever had. And there’s a reason for that. We are all flawed.
Have you ever met someone of the opposite sex so utterly compatible, interesting, intelligent, kind, generous, strong, fun, have great conversations and yet you don’t want to jump into bed? This is what makes a best friend. Someone you want in your life, but don't have sex with. Is that bad? Wrong? Is it bad timing? Someone with a closed heart?
When chemistry is there - you don’t actually get to know a person as properly. Well you do, it just takes a long time. Because instead of learning about each other through communication, you are in bed. Hello delicious distraction!
If you end up (after getting to know someone) and the sex is still amazing, you stay. That’s why I think the sex thing is so important.
But I suggest if you are only staying because of the sex (unless this is what you want of course), you could raise your bar and remember you can have both! So that’s my fairytale. What's yours?
Don’t confuse the fairytale with marriage either - more on that next Saturday!
PS. Maybe best friends do end up with sexual chemistry… I don’t know 🤷. I’ve heard it happens.
I’d love your two cents.
PS. I do believe we can. It requires honesty and respect though. It's part of the
'takes a village' thing. I enjoy a lot of things about a lot of people. One man probably won't be enough for me, although I'm monogamous and loyal to one sexual partner at a time. And here's my journey. Haha. 'Cheers' to yours!
All my love,
Kristi 💛
